Traditionally Retro

43 and Funky

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 20 May 2012 23:08:00 +0000

I turned 43 today. Not thrilled with getting older, by any means. I'm trying to remain positive about the whole thing, considering there's not a darned thing I can do about it anyways. To keep my thoughts positive (and to avoid sitting in the corner, crying, and rocking) I ventured out to the Delaware Arts Festival today and purchased myself a gift. Check my 43 year old behind wearing some funky new handcrafted earrings.

If you'd like a pair of funky earrings (ring or necklace) for yourself, visit the artist's Etsy store here:

Funky Jewelry

Another positive thought in regards to getting older is that I'm no longer carded when purchasing adult beverages. And when I'm not carded, I have the maturity not to stab the clerk in the neck with a ballpoint pen... as tempting as it may be. Punk.

Speaking of adult beverages, the above layout is of me and my pal, Vel, at Hofbräuhaus in Newport, KY. If you're wondering about the title and whether my 43 year old mind is beginning to slip, "Prost" is German for Cheers. I'm not senile yet. Soon. Maybe when I'm 44.

Race for the Cure

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 12 May 2012 12:43:00 +0000

Next weekend is Columbus' 20th annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure The Race for the Cure is the largest series of 5K runs/walks in the world and raises funds and awareness for the fight against breast cancer. It honors those who've lost the battle with the disease and celebrates those who've survived.

Columbus' race is the 3rd largest event of its kind in the US. Last year, there were approximately 50,000 participants in the event. 50,000 gathered in one place, for one purpose.

Photo courtesy of nbc4i.com

There's still plenty of time to register for this year's race. Online registration is now closed, but it's still possible to register in-person at various locations around town or at the Vern Riffe Center on race day.

And, of course, check your girls!

Okay, so I lied...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 06 May 2012 12:25:00 +0000

Back in October, after I posted part 2 of day 2 of Paula's visit, I made the promise that the next installment would follow shortly thereafter.

Actually, my exact words were, "... it'll be posted soon!"

I lie. I lie a lot.

So, seven months later...

On day 3 we took a road trip north, to Cleveland. Half-way there, somewhere around Ashland, we stopped off at Grandpa's Cheese Barn. I mean, how does one not stop? Grandpa. Cheese. And a barn.

Cheesed up, we continue on our journey north to Cleveland. Our destination... The Christmas Story House. Yes!

This is the actual house where the movie was filmed. Ralpie's house. And we were super excited because Ralphie's little brother from the film, Randy, was going to be there at the same time speaking to fans and signing autographs! Meet Ian Petrella (aka Randy Parker).

And no, that's not bad fashion on my part. That's Randy's scarf.

Same scarf, modeled by Paula:

The house is a lot smaller inside than one would imagine. It's hard to envision some of the most memorable scenes from the film being shot in such close quarters. The kitchen, in particular, seems fairly large in the movie... but it's extremely small in all actuality.

The bathroom, where Ralphie and his Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring determined the fate of the Ovaltine planet, was staged with his decoded message and a shelf of Lifebouy soap. Something we both found extremely disturbing was the number of visitors we witnessed put the soap in their mouths to pose for a photo. Yecchh! It was Palmolive that Ralphie claimed had a nice, piquant after-dinner flavor, not Lifebouy.

Tucked away, behind a desk, was the Red Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time.

The only thing in the world that was able to drag us away was the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.

Well, electric sex and the thought of ice cream. To be continued.*

*The next installment may, or may not, be posted soon. Remember, I lie. I lie a lot.

Haven't done one of these posts in a while...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 28 Apr 2012 13:10:00 +0000

What I'm reading:

Definitely not my normal type of read, but it's always been one of my faves. This will actually be my third reading of it. Come on! Time travel, 18th century Scotland, and real men in kilts! What's not to love?

As a side note: I have no idea who this guy is, but I snapped his photo at the Renaissance Festival this past year. I guess he kind of stuck in my mind, because now when I read the book, this guy's how I picture Jamie Fraser. Thank ye, m'lad.

What I'm listening to:

Another one of my faves. Tom Waits... such an amazing talent and voice. His voice, as described by critic Daniel Durcholz, is "like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with car." Such a beautifully bittersweet song, which makes it close to impossible not to fall in love with Tom Waits.

What I'm watching:

A fabulously retro show, set in the 1960's world of Madison Avenue advertising. The series is an intoxicating mix of low morals and high fashion. I can't take my eyes off of the sets, the clothing, or Don Draper. I'll admit, I also have a soft spot for Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser). For nerds, like myself, you may remember him from Buffy The Vampire Slayers' spin-off series, Angel. He played Conner, Angel's superhuman son, who, as an infant, was kidnapped and taken to hell in an act of revenge against Angel. He enters the series as a disturbed teenager, raised to hate his father.

So yeah... clearly I spend a lot of time sitting on my butt, with my nose in a book or my eyes glued to the television. Sometimes when I'm sitting on my butt, I scrapbook.

But, believe it or not, on occasion I do go outside for some fresh air and sunshine. The proof? This photo I snapped for my Photo Scavenger Hunt:

As the quote goes, do what you love and love what you do.

Everything's coming up roses!

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 21 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0000

After having lived in the season-less south for well over 30 years, I'm loving Ohio and the fact that there are four distinct seasons. Vibrant colors in fall, glistening snow in winter, warm (not oppressively hot) summer breezes, and beautiful spring days. Spring days that bring blue skies, chirping birds, and flowers blooming all around. Springtime in the south, well at least the area I lived, only brought about blooming idiots.

On a particularly glorious (yes... glorious, I say) spring day, I decided to visit Columbus' Park of Roses. The park offers 13 acres of sprawling rose gardens (11,500 roses of more than 400 varieties). An amateur photographer's paradise!

The park was very active the day I went. Lots of couples strolling along, hand in hand. A few kids splashing about in the fountain. Photographers galore. Painters...

... and bees! Bees everywhere!

Bow chicka wow wow...

Yes, I know. You can take the girl out of the south, but you can't take the blooming idiot out of the girl.

Spinning a yarn...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 00:45:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I found myself wearing bleach-stained pink flamingo pajamas while camped out in front of the TV, with my cat, watching American Idol, eating dry cereal straight from the box. I asked myself, "Self... could you be any more of a loser?" And self answered with, "you could be crocheting."

And since I always strive to be the best (at being a loser), I spent the next week on You Tube watching countless videos in an effort to teach myself how to crochet. My winter wardrobe is now chock full o' scarfs so I need something else to crochet.

I know!

Clearly I was a fashion plate. Miss Popularity (with the lunch ladies). Every boy wanted to be with me, every girl wanted to be me. I'm sure this skin tight sweater vest, layered over a polyester blouse, is what propelled me to the top of the 4th grade social ladder. Surely, I was the envy of all when I wore this vest. Even more so when I paired it with my white patent leather knee-high boots (from a distance, I looked as though there were casts on both legs).

Well... I better finish this blog post up. It is Tuesday night, after all. Idol will be starting shortly and I need to make a decision. Fruity Pebbles or Captain Crunch.

Teen Love & Sock Monkeys

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 17:32:00 +0000

Since I currently hold the title of Aunt Awesome (earned when I gave each kid a money tree for Christmas), my nephew sent me the following text:

will u b free sat to help me come up with ideas and make some stuff for tiffany's valentines day?

Granted, I already had a full Saturday planned. My intentions were to clean my keyboard with Q-Tips, trim the long fur that keeps sprouting from in between the cat's paw pads, and continue working on my gum wrapper afghan.

But it was Chase asking for my help! Have I mentioned how much I love this kid?

So after hours of searching Pinterest (yeah, it was torture), I came up with two teen-friendly ideas.

Idea (and photo) courtesy of Papervinenz

Idea (and photo) courtesy of g*rated

And since I am Aunt Awesome, when I showed Chase my stolen ideas he responded with, "those are so cool!" ~polishing nails on food encrusted sweatshirt~

After a quick run to the store for supplies and a brief stop at McDonald's (had to keep up our strength), we got down to business. I worked on the cover for his mini-album while Chase concentrated on cutting and gluing the papers onto the deck of cards. Doesn't mean a hill of beans to Chase, but I'm sure some of you'd like to know that we used Nikki Sivils' Sugar Cookie line of papers.

In between countless texts to and from Miss Tiffany, both projects took us less than 2 hours. Would have been 1-1/2 hours were it not for the perpetual texts. Chase still has to work on his 52 reasons, but he didn't think it would be too difficult. Ahhh... young, unjaded love.

It didn't occur to me to take my camera, so please forgive the the following cell phone photo.

Since I plugged Nikki Sivils above, I may as well show off one my recent layouts. For this project I used her My Sweet Cherry Pie line of papers. And again, it doesn't mean a hill of beans to Chase.

So have a Happy Valentine's Day and do what you love. Wait... no... that didn't come out right. Chase cover your ears! Don't do what you love. Well... maybe some of you do what you love, but not Chase. Or Miss Tiffany. Geesh. Have a good holiday and happy scrapping.

Origami Christmas Tree

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:45:00 +0000

For the first time ever, I've started making my Christmas cards earlier than December 20th. I wanted my cards to be quick & easy... but way cool & retro in design.

Since I found the tutorial for these cards on Stamping Videos, I can't take the credit for the idea. But I can take the credit for making them suit my personal style.

Hello Retro!

Now because I'm inherently lazy, I made a trip to Michael's and purchased a package of Recollections blank cards & envelopes. The size I used for these cards is 4" x 5-1/2".

For the outer frame of the card, cut a piece of paper into a 5-1/4" x 3-3/4" rectangle. And for the tree you'll need to cut four squares at 3", 2-1/2", 2", and 1-1/2". For my card, the two papers I used are from Anna Griffen and KI Memories.

Next, using my Cuttlebug and a Spellbinders Nestabilities die, I cut an oval into the center of the rectangle. Affix this framework to the front of your card.

Take the 3" square of paper and fold it in half. Open and fold the paper in half again, in the opposite direction.

Open the square up again and this time, fold the paper into a triangle... corner to corner. Open again and repeat the process in the opposite direction.

Now that you have all the creases in place, fold the square in half again and push in the two sides to form a triangle.

Next fold each of the triangle's "wings" down as shown:

This is what you should end up with.

Repeat the same process for the other three squares.

Now it's as simple as using your glue dots and nesting the sections of tree on the front of the card. Top the tree off with brads, bling or buttons. For my card I used a Fancy Pants rub-on.

And you're done! Super easy, huh?

Oh... one more thing. Don't worry about how these cards will mail. As shown below, they'll lay completely flat within the envelope.

Woman vs Food

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 11:30:00 +0000

Remember back in Juvember when I started my "Paula's Visit" recap? Yeah... me neither. So to refresh your memory, day 1 included giant cement corn, Chief Leatherlips and dancing bunnies. Day 2 was a really full day, so I opted to break it into two segments, the first of which involved our spending an afternoon in the slammer.

Cool? Good. Now that we're all caught up, let's continue.

If you're familiar with Travel Channel's Man vs Food, you may remember the segment he did on Columbus' very own Thurman Cafe... home of the best burgers in Columbus.

Thurman's is nothing more than a little hole-in-the wall restaurant with no convenient parking (street side only and had to walk several blocks to gain access), an extremely long wait to be seated, and something I'd, admittedly, drive right past if not for having had tons of previous recommendations.

They seated us at the bar, which enabled us to see every burger as it made its entrance from the kitchen. Wow. There are no words for the size of the burgers that passed us. Just wow. After studying the menu we finally made our selections. Paula opted for the classic Thurman burger (I had to talk her down from the Thurmanator), and I chose the bacon burger. Hello! Bacon! Paula's Thurman burger is the one pictured on the right, below.

Consider this my official Thurman's Cafe endorsement. I have NEVER had a better burger. Hands down. Best burger I've ever eaten. And from the size of my double chin in the photo below, it's very clear I've consumed a lot of burgers in my day.

She ate the whole thing! How is that possible?! Paula woofed down that entire burger in record time!

It was such an impressive feat that the woman sitting next to us actually shook Paula's hand and commented upon how much she'd enjoyed the show. In addition to watching Paula inhale the burger, apparently there were so many sparks flying off her utensils, it made for a dazzling light spectacle.

After paying our bill (Really affordable! Both burgers less than $10!), we waddled back to the car (remember... several blocks away) and plopped ourselves into our seats. There may, or may not, have been some bodily noises along the way from each of us. Wow. That was good eatin'. But as we settled in, Paula made her Woman vs Food victory sign. Food 0. Woman 1.

Sorry it took me so long to continue the recap. It takes a lot of time and effort to make a Julie-shaped butt imprint on the couch cushion. These things just don't happen overnight. Very much the same way great friendships don't happen overnight. So yeah. Paula is the butt print to my cushion. No. Paula is the cushion to my butt print? Paula's the butt? Any which way, her friendship's left a permanent imprint.

Be sure to return for Day 3 of Paula's visit. No, seriously... it'll be posted soon!

We interrupt the previously scheduled blog post...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 19:00:00 +0000

... for a very important message.

Susan Goetter and Delaina Burns are awesome.

I, fortunately, am also awesome.

And since we can no longer gather in one location to touch our rings together in such a manner as to create a super surge of awesomeness, we've decided to use our powers for scrapping.

Dressed in spandex, tights and a cape, Susan spent hours on her couch, surfing the Internet for this month's super sketch.

We wish to thank Sketch Support for their sketch. We also wish to thank them for not pointing out that Susan had a giant food stain on her chest, instead of a giant "S".

Since we're in the whole "back to school" season, I flipped my cape over my shoulder, jumped dramatically into my scrap room and pulled out some school-themed papers and embellishments. Once I'd removed my tights-wedgie, I also pulled out my high school senior photo.

"Beer is good, sex is heaven, we're the class of '87..."

Would it surprise you any to learn that our class song was Mony Mony by Billy Idol?

If only my seventeen year old self, the one who dreamed of being a super successful journalist, living the fashionable single gal's dream life in NYC, knew that in 25 years her only writing outlet would be a scrapbooking blog which she types from her broken down couch in Delaware, Ohio, and that her fashionable wardrobe would contain a lot of stretchy separates, sensible shoes and cardigans coated with cat fur.

Super Awesome Julie says, "Stay in school, kids."

Lucky for you mere mortals, one of Super Awesome Julie's superpowers is the ability to hyperlink.

Super Awesome Susan's Blog and Super Awesome Delaina's Blog.

And since her other superpower is the ability to suggest ear worms...

A Visit From Paula (day 2)

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 21:33:00 +0000

The sun rises on day 2, and we make the short road trip up to Mansfied. More precisely, the Ohio State Reformatory.

Constructed in 1834, through the years, the prisoners (some with notoriety), experienced fire, death, disease, murder, riots and movie productions... one of the most notable being Shawshank Redemption.

If you're so inclined, here's a wonderful link to some of the history of the prison.

Mansfield Reformatory's History

But for us, the prison's biggest draw is that it's supposedly very haunted. We are so there! It's been featured on Travel Channel's "Scariest Places on Earth" and the reason for our visit today, Ghost Adventures!

We start off in the Warden's Quarters, taking our time and exploring all the rooms.

We take a moment to leave our mark in history... or on dirty glass.

And then things get interesting. Unbeknownst to me at the time, I ended up catching one of the most controversial photos of our trip. Using the macros setting on my camera, I was attempting to get an artsy fartsy shot of a bullet hole in a 2nd story window. I'm 100% positive I was alone in this particular hallway when I took the following photo:

Take a closer look. Click on the image to enlarge, if you must.

Seriously. What the heck?!

We have tried and tried to figure out how this image was captured. I was standing very close to the bullet hole, holding my camera in front of me with both hands. The camera was on the macros setting. Now I was wearing a black shirt that day, so common sense should tell us that I'm the monkey dude. But how could my reflection be there if I'm blocking the hole with my camera... and BOTH my hands are holding it? And who the heck is the headless dude?!

As I stated, neither of us had any idea at the time that I'd captured such an image so we went on with our adventure. An adventure which included Paula creating faux scratches on her back. If you're a fan of all the ghost hunting shows, as we are, you'll notice a trend of everyone, and their grandma, discovering three "mystery" scratches somewhere on their body. So we staged the following photo:

The granny panties add a touch of klass and believability, don'tcha think?

The obligatory cell block shot:

And self portrait:

Then we moved into Solitary Confinement. And it's here that we had an "incident". Since we were visiting the prison on a weekday, all of the tours were self-guided and there weren't a lot of people milling about. As a result, we were alone in solitary. (chuckle... alone... solitary) Anyways, the 2nd story of solitary was roped off and all the lights up there were dark. But we could clearly hear someone or something moving about, knocking and what, we think, may have been a door closing. This is Paula peeking up the stairs at the noise and whispering, "Helllllooo".

After spending the better half of the day exploring every un-roped-off inch of the prison, and its supposed hauntings, we were exhausted!

And we'd worked up a Man vs Food kind of appetite!

Come back soon and read the next installment of our adventure, Paula vs Food.

A Visit From Paula

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 13:16:00 +0000

One of the few drawbacks of my moving from Florida to Ohio has been the fact that I had to leave my best friend, Paula, behind. Barely a week went by that Paula and I weren't out wreaking havoc somewhere, on something... or someone. This blog has become a great outlet for recapping many of our previous adventures together, such as:

Haunted Hotel & Pigeon Pick-Up Artist
Wild Horses, Azz Spurs and Deathly Dunes
Hoof Prints & Speed Bumps
The Mystery of the Empty Candy Wrappers
Trailer Park Chic
Beach Chair Water Ballet
Turtles, Gators & Naked Ed... oh my!
Trash Talkin' Plants and Bottle Trees

The greatest thing about a best friend is the fact that they'll always be just that. A few weeks ago, Paula traveled over 900 miles in order to spend 4 fun-filled days with me. She's awesome... that's why she's the best!

Here's the rundown of what we managed to squeeze in during her visit:

After catching up over a yummy (did I really just say yummy?) dinner at Hoggy's, we made a brief stop by Dublin, Ohio's infamous field of cement corn. I'm VERY intrigued by this "art" display and, I'll admit, the first time I ever passed it, I knew Dublin would become my home.

Even though Paula appeared to have a corncob stuck up her azz, we paid a visit to Chief Leatherlips... because who wouldn't wanna go see someone named Leatherlips?!

And to round out our evening of visiting Dublin's roadside oddities, we hopped over to Ballantrae Park to watch the Dancing Hares boogie off into the sunset.

Since we were running out of daylight and one of our favorite television shows was running back-to-back episodes, we decided to return to my apartment, watch drunken frat boys ghost hunt, remove Paula's corncob, and rest up for our next day's adventures... which just happened to include a few ghosts!

(to be continued)

Cross Country Scrapping

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 23:37:00 +0000

As much as I love living in Ohio, I have to admit that I miss my southern scrap buddies, Susan Goetter and Delaina Burns. Once every few months, we'd coordinate our schedules and meet up for an entire weekend at Susan's house in Pensacola. I'd drive the 5 hrs from Gainesville and Delaina would travel about the same distance from her home in Alabama.

These weekends were always full of shopping, sugar, gossip, giggling, chatter and if we could squeeze it in, we'd sometimes actually scrap. This photo is from our last weekend together, March 2010, and is the result of too much sugar and not enough sleep.

There has been discussion of my flying into Alabama in the near future. But somehow we'll need to persuade Susan to make the 5 hour drive north for my visit. In theory, it seems a solid plan and should be easy to execute. To get my point across, let's just say that Susan and Delaina are dogs. Delaina is one of those little yippee, ankle-biter type dogs that get really excited and tinkle all over the carpet. Susan, in contrast, is one of those ol' coon dogs that lays around in the shade all day. Doesn't budge. When someone calls her name, she'll half-open one eye to see who's beckoning and then decide if it's worth rousting herself.

So me and the ankle-biter are trying to roust her...

... with a cross country sketch challenge.

The idea is to keep the three of us scrapping together (if only virtually) until we can put our travel plans into action. So every few weeks, we're doing a challenge where each of us creates a layout in our own personal style, using the exact same sketch. This time we chose to use this design from Sketch Support. Even though it's a card sketch, we all felt it would make for a great layout.

And here's my take on the sketch:

Ya know... had I known that I'd be doing the whole dog analogy above, I would have chosen different papers. Non-willingness to budge and tinkle stained carpets aside, I do love these girls!

Be sure to visit their respective blogs to see what they've created for our challenge.

Dear Photograph

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 22:50:00 +0000

I love this blog. The concept is amazing and needs to be shared.
Take a picture of a picture from the past in the present.

Dear Photograph

Photo Scavenger Hunt

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 22:58:00 +0000

One cannot survive on cat photos alone.

One has tried.

One fears she is in danger of becoming crazy cat lady and has, therefore, made the decision to join a Photo Scavenger Hunt group.

Each month there is a random listing of 25 items to photograph. The idea is to be creative, become more familiar with your camera and, of course, to become a better photographer in the process. There are also rules in place such as, "If you break any laws at any time during any portion of the scavenger hunt, you and/or your team will be disqualified. This includes, but is not limited to, moving violations, trespassing, shoplifting, assault, bribery."

Jiminy Crikes! Photographers are a tough bunch.

Perhaps becoming a crazy cat lady isn't such a bad thing.

No. No! I'm tough! I once let my cat's litter box go an entire week without scooping it. I can do this!

Another rule is that participants aren't allowed to Photo Shop or edit their images in any manner, other than a simple crop. Hold me.

This is the list for the month of June:

1. Abandoned building or structure
2. Celebrity or famous persons grave
3. Grave of someone who died over 100 years ago
4. Musical Instrument
5. Something rusty
6. View from inside mass transit system (bus, cab, train, etc.)
7. Graffiti
8. Something in a body of water
9. Books
10. Something yellow
11. Windmill
12. Swings or swing set
13. Something with feathers
14. Someone performing
15. Self portrait (did I mention the "No Photo Shop" rule?)
16. Animal
17. Flowers
18. Reflection
19. Something with repetition
20. Something unusual or unique on a co-workers desk
21. Stormy sky
22. Empty bottle
23. Technology
24. Horizontal lines
25. Bad habit

Well, I've brushed the cat fur from my camera and I've started the hunt. So that you can all follow along with me on my photo quest, I've started an album on Photo Bucket for my images.

Signing off to take a photo of item #16. Hmmm... whatever shall it be?

Apparently, there is a Cricut Expression...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 22:21:00 +0000

So it appears the ALWAYS fabulous Nikki Sivils has been working her pretty little self ragged in order to pull off a cross promotion with the also ALWAYS fabulous Provo Craft. And, boy howdy, did they cross promote the heck out of their fabulous selves!

I am amazed and somewhat speechless (I know, right??!) at Provo Craft's generosity. Thank you so much! I can't wait to rip into everything and start playing.

See that Cricut dude on the side of the box with the silly little expression?

Yeah... that's what I now call the Cricut Expression. It pretty much looks like this:

Obligatory Valentine Post

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 19:00:00 +0000

Ugh. It's Valentine's Day again. And as many of you may recall from past posts, I'm not a huge fan of the day. But at least February 15th brings the promise of half- off chocolate and Valentine inspired argyle knee socks in the clearance section at Target. So yeah, there's that.

Since everyone is in a lubby-dubby frame of mind today (shoot me), I figured it would be a good time to share a few layouts I made while I was clearly operating under the influence of clearance Christmas candy.

This is my nephew and his first girlfriend. As sweet as it is (Awwww...), it's a very strange thing to witness. Whenever I'm around them, I feel like Jane Goodall observing the primates and their mating rituals. I've never seen them speak, but instead they'll text while sitting right next to one another. If they feel safe, and no one is watching, they'll hold each others sweaty hands. Already establishing her dominance, the girlfriend dictates where they go, what they do and which other primates they hang out with. The nephew just drags his knuckles as he follows behind.

And then we come to me and my loser behind. Two time loser behind. Yep. I don't think many of you knew that. Well now ya do. Journaling reads, "2 Time Loser at Love! But I'm okay with that. I've walked away from these relationships as a stronger, happier, better version of myself. I have a clearer understanding of the life I wish to lead, the countless adventures I intended to embark upon, and in time, I have faith that I'll find love again." Cross your fingers for me that I won't be a three time loser. If so, I'll be needing lots more clearance chocolate!

Here are some Nikki Sivils badges as my Valentine's Day gift to you! Yeah... I went all out.

Grandpas and Geekle

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 05:35:00 +0000

I've made mention of my Grandpa many times in the past. Grandpa was always my favorite... and he knew it. Barely a day goes by that I don't still think of him in some manner. I loved him and miss him very much. Today marks the anniversary of his death. He passed away on this very date, December 14, 1999. So it seems kind of fitting that I should honor him today by sharing some of my favorite Grandpa memories, stories and facts.

Whenever Grandpa had me and my brother in the car, he would always get lost and need to consult a map, right in front of the Dairy Queen.

Grandpa always smelled of Certs and would hum while he was driving.

Grandpa taught me how to play cards and how to 'sit in the bushes'. But he'd never let me win.

Grandpa loved baseball, his favorite team being the Cincinnati Reds. He collected baseball cards his entire life and, as a result, accumulated quite a prized collection of vintage ball cards and memorabilia. In later years, this collection actually served as income for he and my grandmother. They would travel to trade shows and Grandpa became known as "The Old Guy with the Old Cards."

Grandpa was, apparently, scared of heights. I never knew this. I've only just learned this fact within the past month. I was recently given an old scrapbook that my grandmother created of their first trip to Florida. Grandma took this photo of Grandpa on the balcony of their hotel room in Daytona Beach and added the caption, "Love is... standing on the balcony even though one is afraid of high places." Check out Grandpa's death grip on the door jamb. Love it!

During a holiday visit, and after we'd helped our grandparents carry in all their luggage and belongings, my brother and I couldn't help but notice we didn't carry in a single gift. Clearly, we were concerned. Christmas morning rolled around and, of course, there were packages. Grandpa tried to convince us that they did their shopping at the Stop N' Go Quickie Mart after we'd gone to bed, and that all we'd be getting were key chains and bottle openers since the store really didn't have a lot of selection.

Grandpa also liked to give us lumps of coal. I still have all of mine.

He used to tell me that I would one day marry a man named Clyde Updike and we'd have three kids... Headny, Snotty, and Pukey.

Grandpa was a perfectionist. When hanging Christmas garland, he would pull out a ruler and evenly space the distance between each swag. I actually found a snapshot of the perfectly spaced garland. Granted, there's not a whole lot of it showing in the photo, but you get the idea. The lovely lady is, of course, my Grandma.

A kid knocked on the door one day, selling something for a school fundraiser. Grandpa was particularly grumpy and responded, "Johnny can't read or write, but he can sell door to door."

Grandpa used to joke that he was so old, his social security number was 2. This photo was snapped upon the arrival of his first social security check. Big day!

Grandpa was an Army veteran of World War II and served under General George Patton in the European Theater. He never really spoke much about his time during the War but he did make the statement once, to my brother, that he'd hoped he'd been an honorable man.

He taught me how to appreciate old movies and music. It is because of Grandpa that I can honestly rate "White Christmas" as one of my all-time favorite movies and Dean Martin as one of my all-time favorite singers.

Grandpa came up with a concoction he called 'Geekle'. He'd scrounge in the cabinets for anything sweet... sugar, corn syrup, peanut butter, vanilla, etc. Then mix all the ingredients together in a pan, bring the mixture to a boil until it was a candy/fudgey consistency. Next he'd pour it onto a dinner plate and place that plate into the fridge to allow the Geekle to set. Once it was set, he'd take a butter knife (and me) and we'd head to the couch to sliver off bits of the Geekle. It was sugary heaven!

I'll admit, even today, when I'm having a particularly bad time, I'll make a batch of Geekle and curl up on the couch. Grandpas and Geekle still have the ability to make everything better.

ROBERT L. MEYERS, 78, died at 12:35 a.m. Dec. 14, 1999...

Take a stroll down Bella Blvd...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 10:30:00 +0000

Well I'm pretty jazzed.

~impromptu jazz hands~

Bella Blvd has been showcasing my design work on their blog this week. On Thursday, one of the projects I created with the super fun "Hello Beautiful" line of papers was featured.

Miss Chelsea, the World's Greatest Niece, turned 13 on August 19th. And I, being the World's Greatest Aunt, was on hand to document the event with my camera. How freakin' cute and photogenic are all these girls? My favorite photo of the day? This one:

Chelsea's party invites stated noon. When I took this photo she was saying, "It's 11:57! Come on, already!"

On Friday, Bella posted this layout I made featuring their "MidTerm" line of papers:

As a designer's challenge, they requested that I create a page which expresses who I am. Well, as badly as I wanted to scrap this photo...

... I played along. ~sigh~

The title pretty much says it all. I know that most of you have been following my blog for some time now, and you're aware of the many changes that I've gone through over the past year. I am happy now. I never plan to grow up, though.

I need to explain the "tastes like candy" comment. My first night back in Ohio, Miss Chelsea and my sister-in-law, Leslie, took me out to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant. Me and Leslie had margaritas with our meal and ordered a non-alchoholic version for Chelsea. When the kid took her first sip, she said, "mmm... tastes like candy." We busted and were like, 'Yeah it does!' So now it's become a thing. Anytime we partake of a frosty beverage there's always the announcement of, "mmm... tastes like candy."

There's tons more Bella projects to follow, so keep an eye on their blog all week.

I leave you with this shot of my pal, Vel. Too much candy.

Hella Lotta Bella

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 14:00:00 +0000

I'm a little late in announcing this to the blogosphere because... well... basically, you see... one can't very well liquor up, shout from the rooftops, dance nekkid and blog. A gal's gotta establish her priorities. Liquor. So yeah... I've been toe-up in a gutter since receiving the good news. But now I believe I've sobered up enough to announce to the world that I'm a BELLA ARTISTA!

*hiccup*

And just yesterday, Mr. UPS (why, hellooo there ~eyebrow waggle~) brought me a box bursting with a hella lotta Bella! The box not only contained some of their newest lines...

But it also contained a few of my old faves as well!

I believe all this Bella goodness calls for celebration. No? Two for one margaritas, maybe?

Lazy Heifer Chocolate Cake

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 00:35:00 +0000

As most of you know, I like to bake.

And as most of you know, I'm also a lazy heifer.

Heck, there are days I'm so lazy that it's a struggle to extend my pinky over to the 'shift' key to type uppercase letters.

as a matter of fact... screw the shift key. you're lucky there's punctuation today.

anyways, the recipe. this is the recipe that i make when i need an awesome cake... fast! this is the cake that i take to almost every family gathering and every potluck function (there happens to be a work picnic tomorrow). it gets rave reviews every single time and it's super easy to make!

lazy heifer chocolate cake

1 devil's food cake mix (no pudding in mix - duncan hines is what i use)

1 pkg chocolate instant pudding mix (don't be an uber lazy heifer and use a cake mix with pudding already in the mix. trust me on this. you want to add your own pudding.)

4 large eggs

1 8oz container of sour cream

1/2 cup warm water

1/2 cup canola oil

1/2 bag milk chocolate chips

tub of milk chocolate icing

heat oven to 350. lightly grease bundt pan. combine cake mix, pudding mix, eggs, entire container of sour cream, water and oil with electric mixer. fold in chocolate chips. pour into bundt pan. bake 40-45 mins.

cool. (yes, I am. but the cake needs to cool too.)

heat icing in microwave in 10 second intervals. stir between each heating. should only take 30 seconds to get to the proper consistency for a glaze. drizzle about 1/2 the container over the cooled cake.

now, as a lazy heifer, you'll notice that you have a half a tub of icing and a half a bag of chocolate chips left over. you could save them for another time or you could put on some stretchy pants, grab a spoon and dim the lights.

What's a girl to do?

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 21:30:00 +0000

Today was a good mail day...

Netflix - Project Runway Season 1 Finale, My Creative Scrapbook design team kit for August and all of the new Nikki Sivils top secret product lines which will be revealed at CHA later this month! Oh... and there's a cat there too... vying for my attention.

So what's a girl to do?! I could watch to see who wins the mentorship with Banana Republic and the $100,000 to develop their own fashion line. It better not be that bitch, Wendy Pepper! However, I really should sit down and get started on my design team work. But there's the Nikki stuff... maybe I could take a peek! Then again, perhaps I should consider taking care of the kitty's needs?

Yeah... noooo... I chose to eat a cookie.

Boxes are still sitting there. Cat is giving me the stink eye & I'm playing on the computer.

Aaaaand... I'm eating another cookie.

The boxes will still be there tomorrow.

Hoping the cat will have given up by then.

More Julies?

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:30:00 +0000

I just wanted to take a moment to share a few things that my best friend, Paula, has made since I moved away. As most of you know, Paula is the Lucy to my Ethel. I am her second banana. And since I split (bwahaha! ~knee slap~ ~wiping tear~) we're each missing the other something krazy. The first is a mini album she sent to me around my birthday:

So what do you say? More Julies? That'd be so cool! I could start a band! Ooo... or be my own angry mob!

The other item is a layout (yes... she's also a scrapper and she has a gallery on Scrapbook.com if you wanna swing by and say, 'howdy ho!'):

Clearly she's referring to one of the other Julies...

Just don't show it to anyone...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 23:55:00 +0000

When I presented my nephew, Chase, with the layout I made as a part of my Nikki Sivils design team work, he said, "Cool. Just don't show it to anyone."

So since I'm a loving aunt who'd never dream of going against her nephew's wishes, I'm not gonna show it to anyone. I'm gonna show it to everyone!

The kid might be pretty good on guitar, but I'm slick... and crafty.

Chase's layout can also be seen on Nikki Sivils' blog, where I explain the inspiration, share the product info and gush about the rotten punk who's no match for his super clever aunt.

In addition, the layout is posted in my Scrapbook.com gallery... and as soon as I post this blog entry, the layout will also appear on Facebook.

Dealing with the pain...

noreply@blogger.com (Julie Howard) — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 12:00:00 +0000

If you'll recall, a few weeks ago my drunken neighbor plowed into the rear of my car and left me with two lovely bumper holes. While our insurance companies worked out the details, I worked through my pain by making light of the situation. The bumper holes became flower vases, umbrella stands, displays for baby doll arms & legs (hey... don't judge) and on Memorial Day, I put flags in them. It was my way of dealing with the pain of my vehicle being torn to shreds. I mean, I would watch folks in my rear view mirror as they'd approach my vehicle from behind. First they'd cruise in to gawk at the damage. Then they'd make some comment to their passenger. There'd be a short exchange and a few snickers. And then every single time, they'd slowly back off, maintaining ample distance between their vehicle and my hazard on wheels. It as if the two holes on my bumper were flashing "HORRIBLE DRIVER HORRIBLE DRIVER HORRIBLE DRIVER".

But my world returned to rainbows & sunshine the Monday before last. After driving around my holey car for a week, and then another two driving the PT Loser, the collision shop called to say that my vehicle was finally ready! I was happy once again. I lovingly stroked my car and mouthed, 'you complete me'.

For three days we went everywhere together. My car took me to work and then waited in the parking lot all day until I got off. He's very devoted. We went shopping together, to dinner, and to the movies. We were gearing up for big weekend plans so we stopped by the bank Friday afternoon. He said he'd wait for me while I went inside. I was in the bank for all of five minutes when I was approached and questioned if I owned a silver Toyota with Florida tags. Jokingly, I replied, "Why? Did someone hit me?" Someone had! Someone had friggin' backed into my car! My car had been fixed for THREE whole days!

Well something in me snapped. I actually started crying. Seriously. The guy who hit me, I'm sure, was way freaked out by my hysterics. We exchanged all of our info, and as I drove away, my heart started hurting. Seriously. My heart seriously started to hurt! I called my brother to tell him what had happened and, of course, being a typical brother... his ass laughed. Three days, folks! THREE DAYS!

I couldn't stop crying & my heart pain continued. But with all of this going on, I had design team work for My Creative Scrapbook that I had to complete. Time was running out! So on top of the whole car situation, I had that obligation. I was stressing big time! My heart was killing me!

So I did what any emotionally distraught gal with chest pains would do. I consulted WebMD. Thanks to WebMD's Symptoms Checker, I determined that I was having a heart attack. So I called my brother again. Did I mention that Jeffie's a paramedic? After hearing my symptoms and talking with me for a bit he determined that I was actually having a panic attack and not a heart attack, as I (and WebMD) believed. Well thank goodness that he's the sane one in our family. Otherwise, I'd be at the hospital hooked up to all sorts of machinery with leads, trip wires, bolts attached to my temples and Dr. Frankenstein. What?

A panic attack? Seriously. Those are real? I've never had one before and I'll be the first to admit that I've thought 'bullshit' when I've heard others talk about them. But... wow... they're real all right. It helped me to put things into perspective when Jeff explained how my body reacted to hearing the news about my car. Add the new collision to the one from THREE DAYS ago to the stress of the design team work and the fact that I'd just turned my world upside down by getting divorced, selling my home, quitting my job, moving to Ohio, finding new employment, etc., etc., etc. Basically, it was the final straw for my poor body.

So I dealt with the pain. I occupied my mind elsewhere. I spent a great weekend with my family and I completed my design team work on time!

Isn't My Creative Scrapbook's Creative Kit for July adorable?! It's so freakin' cute it makes my heart hurt. My heart! Oh no! Better consult WebMD!