My New Year's Resolutions

I resolve to only give fur Mohawks to my kitties on days which end in "Y".

I resolve to not call people "dumbass"... to their faces.

I resolve to never buy store brand peanut butter again.

I resolve to assign a different ring tone to each of my contacts so I won't have to get off the couch to know who's calling.

I resolve to eat healthier and exercise more.

Eh... who am I kidding. May as well go ahead and scratch that one now.

I resolve to put more money into savings. Countries and crowns don't buy themselves!

I resolve to never wear sensible shoes or holiday sweaters.

I resolve to belittle the ignorant instead of mentally pinching their heads off.

I resolve that this year will be better than the last! Here's to old friends and new beginnings.